My Lagos Danfo Diaries – THE UNAPOLOGETIC BUS DRIVER

Route: Victoria Island- Ajah

After a stressful day at work, I finally get on a bus and I am glad to get a front seat beside the driver, although the gear stick was constantly brushing my thighs but I didn’t mind. I tuned off as I have been doing for a few days(thankful for my new earphones).

A while later, we approach the Lekki Toll and there is a long queue (as expected at closing hour). The driver seemed to be a newbie as he wasn’t even sure of how much he was to pay for the toll fare.

Finally, we start moving and on approaching the front, there is a Lady in a Corolla, she slows down and allows the car directly in front of us get ahead of her. Our bus driver, thinking he is smart, decided to rush into that little space and push the Lady aside, then we both get stuck.

Aunty Corolla (Comes out of her car)  Oga, why you dey drive like this na? You have scratched my car! Come down and see it.

Bus Driver When you too dey dull, abeg move jare! you car fit pass the space. Na because you be woman!

Passengers Haba! Driver, you are at fault, just tell her sorry and let us go.

Bus Driver She no dey see? Na she go move her car! Which brush I brush her? I no fit comot from the bus sef.

Aunty Corolla But you scratched my car. (Now getting angry) You will pay for it. You are not going anywhere!

Bus Driver (Signals to his conductor to check if he can squeeze through, the conductor starts moving stuff and directing the driver)

Passengers -Madam, sorry! Abeg no vex!. Driver, why you sef go say ‘na woman’? You suppose just tell am sorry.

Aunty Corolla – I am not moving from here, what does he mean? You have damaged my car and you will pay for the damages.

(Other road users start getting out of their cars and condemn the driver. Driver looks unshaken and refuses to move his car. A mobile police Officer(MOPOL) comes out of nowhere with a LCC (Lekki Concession Company) staff come out to check the damages, they ask the woman to take pictures for insurance and kindly move out of the way. The driver is directed and moves back, then the lady goes forward, pays her fare and parks on the side of the road very close to the toll gate. The driver now humbled by the MOPOL does the same and parks beside the woman).

Conductor: Where the rag? Make i go clean am for her. All these women sef (Conductor starts cleaning the scratch, he goes to the driver and gets some engine oil)

Aunty Corolla – This won’t work. You will pay for the damages and he cannot even say sorry.

Man in white shirt comes out of the bus and approaches aunty – Do you have insurance?

Aunty Corolla – What is that supposed to mean and how is that supposed to help me right now?

Man in white shirt – Just answer my question, do you have insurance?

Aunty Corolla – please leave me if you don’t have anything reasonable to say. So I should leave him abi? Does insurance work in this Nigeria? Will they find him to pay? Please go back into the bus and you are a man, and you are talking like this.

(The man heads back into the bus and the man beside me steps out and tries to speak to the Lady)

Aunty Corolla – Don’t even speak because I am not ready to listen to anything you have to say. Just tell your driver to apologise.

(Passengers start complaining and we see the driver just bending 

down in front of the bus. It is already past 6pm and I am tired. I get out of the bus and gently tell the driver to apologise to the woman since we are running out of time)

Driver: (walks to the woman)- I’m sorry!

Me: Madam, sorry, don’t be angry.

Woman: Okay (walks to her car and gets in)

Problem solved! Then we start moving.

Me: Thank you

On a lighter note, whilst all the drama was happening, the cool MOPOL guy starts chasing after a naked mad woman who appeared from nowhere and passengers start shouting for him to leave her alone as long as she wasn’t disturbing him.

—END—

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About the Author: JFS Admin

4 Comments

  1. Lol…. Really funny story.. I really enjoyed reading this and moreover car insurance is really very important in this kind of Situation especially in Nigeria with much road users..

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